5 Powerful Self Love Practices

With Valentine’s Day behind us, I’ve been thinking about love in all its forms, and particularly the love that we give ourselves. When you truly love and honor yourself, you open the door for more love, better experiences, and a higher quality of life. I don’t just mean the “treat yo’ self” kind of love (though that’s always fun), but the really deep “I love who I am as a person” kind of love.

When I was younger, I searched for love outside of myself. I looked to my significant other to love me and relied heavily on his feelings for approval. As you can imagine, this isn’t a great or healthy place to be. You can end up in bad relationships, or desperate to please another person just so you can feel a little love and approval. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when you love yourself first, you can attract better relationships with better people. Best of all, you’re not dependent on another person for your self worth or love.

We all come to self love from different places; some of us may be wonderful at loving ourselves, while others still seek validation outside of ourselves. Wherever you are, you can start with these simple practices to further develop or reaffirm your love and appreciation for yourself.

When you love and honor yourself, you not only raise your own vibration, but you open yourself up for new, wonderful opportunities, and bring love to those around you. It’s win-win-win!

What does it mean to love and honor yourself? For me, this means committing to your values and acting in accordance to your deepest beliefs. It also means fully appreciating and respecting yourself as you are now, while also placing confidence in your ability to grow and develop.

Here are five powerful ways you can practice self love and honor your true self. These actions can be performed together on one day, or you can spread them out or do whichever actions resonate most strongly with you—there’s no right or wrong way!

Use affirmations to identify your positive qualities

One of the most powerful things you can do is to write down all of the positive qualities that you love and appreciate about yourself.

You can write in the first person or the third person, whichever feels best to you. Or you can switch it up!

It’s best to approach this lightly, with a fun attitude. Don’t think too hard about them, just write down whichever things come up first for you. These attributes can be as deep as you want or as light or superficial as you want, it’s up to you! If the statement makes you feel good, then write it down!

Some examples:

I love myself.

I am a thoughtful person.

I am a wonderful partner and parent.

I am an excellent cook.

I am good at listening to others.

I am a supportive friend.

I have great taste.

I am fun to be around.

If there are any areas that you’re not pleased with about yourself, try to avoid them for now. You want to keep a high, positive energy during this practice. At a different time, you can work on releasing resistance and searching for better feeling thoughts around these challenging areas.

If it’s hard for you to think of things that you like about yourself, try to think of what a loved one might say about you. This could be a relative, a friend, a mentor, or anyone you have a special relationship with. Another option would be to think of what you would say if you were talking to yourself as if you were still a child. What kinds of things would you want someone to have told you?

This process works best when you are in a positive mood. If you’re distracted, unhappy, stressed, or frustrated, take a few minutes to meditate before you start. Just a few minutes of stillness can raise your vibration, and allow you to reset.

Now, take a little time and write out the positive statements about yourself that come easily to you.

Use the mirror technique to magnify your affirmations

Once you have written down some wonderful qualities about yourself, use the mirror technique to amplify your loving intentions.

With the mirror technique, you will look into the mirror as you say the affirmations out loud that you have just written to yourself. You can choose to say all of them or select a few that are particularly meaningful.

Again, you can choose to say the affirmation in the first or third person, or combine them to really cement the affirmation.

For example, you can say:

Sarah, you are a very loving person. I am a loving person.

I am kind and generous.

John, you are a wonderful husband and father.

As you perform this practice, do so with the most loving intention you can summon. Look at yourself as a loved one would, with gentle love and appreciation. Do not focus on anything you dislike about yourself or look at yourself critically.

Out loud, read the affirmations you have just written to yourself. As you read the affirmations, look into your eyes and feel the truth of what you have written. Appreciate your heart, mind, body, and soul for bringing you here. Send loving kindness to yourself as you read each affirmation.

You may notice that this practice brings up strong emotions. This can be particularly true if you have not been as loving and kind to yourself as you might be. Emotions are good. Feeling a strong emotion just means that you have touched on something very sensitive to you. Gently note your reaction as it arises. Do not try to force yourself to feel one way or another; just acknowledge the feeling. Continue to send yourself loving kindness as you go through this process.

You can repeat this process as often as you like. It can be very helpful to do it often when you feel the need to strengthen or increase your self love. As you practice the mirror technique, be sure to start with a positive feeling. If you are feeling very critical about yourself, it is not a good time to practice this. Take a few minutes to meditate and clear your mind before returning to this practice.

Honor your body’s needs with action or rest

This is an opportunity to love your physical body. Choose the activity that will best honor your body’s needs. For example, if you know that you feel strong and energized after a run, schedule some time to run. Or if, on the other hand, you’ve been running around getting things done and need some time to relax, take a nap or get a massage.

The important thing here is to reconnect with your body and appreciate how well it has served you.

As you perform the action or rest, try to do so mindfully. That is, try not to multitask while you are doing it. Instead, focus on the act itself and be send deliberate intent to yourself during the action.

For example, if you chose to go running, you might concentrate on the feel of your foot as it hits the pavement, the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, the smells in the air. As you run, thank your body for being well and strong enough to go running. Send loving kindness to your muscle fibers and appreciate them getting stronger as you move. You do not need to concentrate on this for the entirety of your run, but you may wish to return to these thoughts frequently.

Whichever action you choose, thank your body for supporting you. Even if you are in a place where you are not happy with your body, thank it anyway and send loving kindness to your cells, knowing that things change, and you can improve your feeling towards your body.

Indulge in a treat that makes you feel special

Indulging in a special treat is one of my favorite ways to practice self love (no surprise here)! You can decide what kind of treat makes you feel best.

Be sure to choose a treat that honors your feelings about yourself and is consistent with your values and goals. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, you wouldn’t want to choose an ice cream sundae for your treat if you know that you would feel guilty about it afterwards! Or if you are trying to save money, you wouldn’t go splurge on a fancy new outfit that you can’t afford if you would feel anxious about the purchase.

For me, one of my favorite treats is to make myself a delicious cup of coffee or tea in the morning and serve it out of my fanciest cup. I sit down at the table and take time to savor it before starting my day.

As you can see, an indulgence doesn’t necessarily mean something extravagant. It’s really just an opportunity to do something you enjoy and reconnect with yourself. Again, it’s best if you do this with intention rather than trying to multitask. As you have your treat, do so with the conscious intention to love yourself.

Feel free to indulge as often as you wish! Just be sure that you maintain your deliberate intent to love yourself while you are indulging. If you stop being deliberate and make your indulgence part of your everyday activities, it will lose its value.

Meditate to cement your intention

I’ve previously written about how meditation is a great way to raise your vibration. It is also a wonderful tool to cement your intention.

Start by setting an intention for your meditation practice. You can select an affirmation that you have written about yourself, or an aspirational feeling. For example, “I love myself more and more every day” or “I am becoming better and honoring and loving myself.” Chose a statement that feels good to you.

Find a quiet location where you will not be disturbed and get into a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes and take a deep inhale. As you inhale, focus on the intention that you have chosen for this meditation. Feel the intention getting stronger within you as you focus on it. As you exhale, gently release any resistance you may have towards the intention or any negative feelings.

Inhale—state your intention.

Exhale—release your resistance.

Repeat this process for a few minutes, or as long as it feels comfortable for you.

Unlike the previous practices, you do not necessarily have to be in a positive mindset to meditate. However, you should be careful to select the affirmation or intention that you feel good about in your present mindset. If it is too much of a stretch to say “I love myself” because you are feeling deep negativity about yourself, don’t try to meditate on it. Instead, select something softer that is true for you. It could be something like, “I am working on loving myself more”. You want to select something that does not carry too much of a charge such that it will bring in negative or uncertain emotions.

This meditation practice can be repeated every day, or whenever you feel like you would benefit from more focused self love.

I hope that this inspired you to try some of these processes and that you find them helpful! If you tried them, let me know in the comments!